| tis the season... |
[06 Dec 2004|10:53pm] |
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mood |
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 cheerful |
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music |
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ave maria * chris cornell |
] |
the holidaze once again...
retail still sucks, but at least i can make a killer latte!!
Lou pulled the exmas box out and put away the halloweeeeeen box...
so tomorrow i get to decorate while he's working!!
nothing really special goin on with me...
my father still sucks...
my mom loves to feed my pizza (and i don't complain)...
my sister is the best...
my boyfriend is amazing...
my employees are good to me...
my bosses are good to me...
things are going well...
i hope that things are well with everyone who reads this...
...and for those who don't, too...
thas all for now...
<3me
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| everyone's hair is longer... |
[24 May 2004|03:20pm] |
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mood |
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 contemplative |
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| [ |
music |
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perry mason on the telly... |
] |
man, it has been a long time...
sometimes i sit and wonder...
how is everyone doing?
are they successful yet, like they so deserve to be?
are you happy?
are you lonely?
are you excited?
no more pot smoking for me, really...
my hair's longer too...
and things are well...
be safe.
be as happy as you can.
and take care.
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| so it goes... |
[30 Oct 2002|01:16am] |
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mood |
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 high |
] |
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music |
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disneychannel onthetelly |
] |
so i took up pot smoking again...
just in time, so it seems...
the parentals are getting a divorce.
my father has been cheating on my mother.
he is happy in his new relationship.
and for some *fucked up* reason,
i understand.
i have a newfound appreciation for life.
but it seems to just not be enough to be
living in it.
apparently,
i need to be apart of it or something.
yeh.
right.
so my sisters not cool with the deception.
i'm unsure of how to approach my mother.
.:since we don't get along anyhow, though i'm the only one who knows it:.
and i'm broke.
tomorrow brings sonic,
lou road trip time (*always* fun),
happy britti faces,
smoke,
and a city far from my own...
and i keep trying to remind myself...
i can only run for so long...
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| ...i feel stupid and i feel used... |
[19 Oct 2002|08:45pm] |
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mood |
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one good thing about music |
] |
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music |
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when it hits you, you feel no pain... |
] |
wow...
i dunno where to even start...
what a fucken week...
i need alone time.
and i dunno i know where to find it.
and i dunno that i want it all that much, anyhow.
i surround myself with fabulous people,
people who know me well enough...
to just *know*.
*sighs*
i worked 11 hours on my feet,
cleaning and making drinks
cleaning and making drinks
cleaning and making drinks
...wondering what the fuck i'm really doing...
talked to my sister...
who spent the day with my mom.
*not fun times*
basically, because sandi has a mind of her own,
and decides to use it,
my mom can't get along with her anymore.
or anyone, for that matter.
*sighs*
and it's so strange, talking to people on a regular basis...
seeing someone on a regular basis...
thinking that will be there always...
and then they aren't.
suddenly.
and sometimes, with no explanation.
i just dunno.
if it's me, i'd like the chance to be told,
so that i can do some self reflecting of the specific kind
instead of just searching...
and searching...
but who knows?
i'm going to get sarah.
coffee.
i'm coming home to wait for michelle.
party.
i'm prolly not sleeping.
work.
then tomorrow, maybe i can sleep.
tomorrow, maybe i can breathe.
tomorrow, maybe i can be mine.
<3
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[15 Oct 2002|07:52pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 relaxed |
] |
| [ |
music |
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buffy for michelle. |
] |
whatta stressful day...
and i didn't *do* anything!!
went to joffrey's... asked for $50... boss said tomorrow.
parental drama...
i love you, hollie.
garrett and michelle came over between class... *cuties*
aurora has been here, as bored as me...
i love you, hollie.
finally talked to the parents.
mom put me on the spot.
i said what i needed to say in a tactful manner.
i think i earned *grown-up points* from the 'rents...
and tonite should be filled with live aurora...
and chillen with fabulous people...
oh the world.
tomorrow i get to see my sister!!
(and my parents...)
and then thursday i get to see *i am the world trade center*
and i dunno... friday is friday...
then comes the slammin weekend at work...
and god, can i get outta this rut?
at least i'm happy.
i feel blessed.
thank you all who have been there.
i can't say enough thank yous.
but you know.......
<3
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| sometimes... |
[15 Oct 2002|02:51am] |
| [ |
mood |
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high |
] |
| [ |
music |
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jamzfrom pulpfiction |
] |
...i hate being alone with my thoughts...
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[14 Oct 2002|04:27am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 rejuvenated |
] |
| [ |
music |
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ani inmahhead |
] |
and then things just seem to make sense...
fabulous peaceful chill time at trip park...
chilly evening under the hardly seen stars...
(thanks to the super tall buildings... yeh, all 5 of 'em)
and i can't help but think about how lucky i really am...
to just have experienced what i have...
and to have crossed paths with the people that i have...
...all of them...
...all of you...
and just be grateful.
and i am...
<3
g'night world.
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[13 Oct 2002|07:36pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 loved |
] |
| [ |
music |
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<3foxfire<3 |
] |
i fucken love my friends.
a lot.
thank you, all of you.
<3
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[02 Oct 2002|06:21pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 mellow |
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music |
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that70sshow onthetelly |
] |
wow... how fabulous is the world?
last night we went to see uhroaruh and nickole play their guitars...
*of which niki did not*
but it was so beautiful...
wind blowing softly... (leg hairs tickled)
smoke from my cigarette swirling away into the cloudless night...
then we went to a park at the end of davis island...
and after an encounter with those prickly things (sorry sour!), had a fabulous time...
then we drove around and ended up at the university of tampa...
on tha water...
at a park...
watching the buildings tower above us...
and the stars so far beyond them...
(me, garrett, uhroaruh and sour)
i love fall.
and i miss you.
*you were in my thoughts a lot*
*i would have held you on the stairs*
*and kissed you in the fountain, hehe*
and today i went with uhroaruh job searching...
and then came home...
which brings me to now...
and i'm tired...
and i work at 6am...
so yeh...
and i fixed the ac. go butch kimmi.
<3
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| the man can be happy with me... now! |
[27 Sep 2002|09:37pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 nerdy |
] |
| [ |
music |
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oldskooldoubledare onthetellykids |
] |
oh how wonderful it feels to pay the bills...
*sighs*
credit card #2 and #3 AND my cell phone bill...
and alas... i'm broke again!
so i'm out to drown my sorrows in... *yummy hot tea and lotsa smokes*
be well all on this fabulous friday night!
and i love you a whole whole lot!
and i want to congratulate you (since i can't comment and whatnot)...
<3
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| rainy days... |
[25 Sep 2002|05:10pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 horny |
] |
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music |
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weatherchannel i'maddicted |
] |
good ol' hurricane season...
at least it brings me the sense of fall that i long for year round...
windy... beautiful sunsets... breezy and chilly...
(when it's not raining)
and fabulous cloud coverage...
i just had a staring contest with kaia... now shes on my lap!
(i won)
and now i have to go wake the sleeping louis so he can take me to discount auto parts to see about my battery... :o/ i don't wanna wake him... cos he's still a sick boi... but otherwise we'll have issues tomorrow... *sighs* work at 8am! weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
and next weekend... *happy sighs* is going to kick my ass... how fabulous is it that b&a play friday, and then the drag king show at cherokee is the following night? *perks* yehaw!
<3
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[25 Sep 2002|03:16am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 drained |
] |
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music |
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letigre mymymetrocard |
] |
i'm in the sky when I'm on the floor...
the world's a mess and yer my only cure.
there's no time for me to act mature...
the only words I know are "more, more" and "more"
no one to criticise me then
no one to criticise
there's no fear when I'm in my room
it's so clear and I know just what I want to do...
all day bedroom dancing
to you I wanna say
*yer my thing*
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| i'm gonna pull out my tampon and start splashing around... |
[24 Sep 2002|05:11pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 hopeful |
] |
| [ |
music |
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pepsibluecommercial onthatelly |
] |
...cos i don't care if they eat me alive...
*wait, THEY already are*
...as for that elevator... i'm on my up way, damnit.
i'm strong, i can handle this.
and thank <3you<3 for the support.
all of you...
(you know i hate needing it...)
i'll get through this... we'll get through this.
.:random trips to mcdonalds and bluvanilla slurpees kick my ass kid, thanks:.
<3
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| "this is a wierd day" |
[24 Sep 2002|10:55am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 indifferent |
] |
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music |
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aftersex movieonthetelly |
] |
so i checked the blue book...
*frowns*
but we'll see what we can do, right?
just need to go get it cleaned up...
why do i feel so alone?
*sighs*
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| so much shouting, so much laughter... |
[23 Sep 2002|02:18am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 frustrated |
] |
| [ |
music |
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tickticktick clockonthedesk |
] |
plastic daisies are a grrrLs best friend *wink*
good friends kick my ass, too...
so does relaxing hot tea and my fabulous grrrLfriend...
and IHOP!
things that do NOT kick my ass:
my battery charge light coming on...
my tummy *after* IHOP
my baby so far away...
issues...
i miss jeska...
i miss stuey...
and yeh... this entry is over...
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| kiss the rain... |
[20 Sep 2002|06:21pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 cynical |
] |
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music |
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*weatherchannel... hellabadstormoutthere* |
] |
whatta day...
work was, of course, nothing exciting and i made NO money...
chillen with jorge and sour only after hassles with paychecks getting cashed (none of which were mine)...
munchin on my hella yummers black forest cake! *iknowyerjealous*
and looking over my cell phone bill... *gasps* no... it's not that bad... just hafta get ready to pull money outta my ass! LoL anyone know where that tree is??
so now we go to sound exchange... and later to sacred for "art under the influence"... yaaaaaay!
all be well...
i miss you! and you! and you (even though you prolly don't believe me... or would even think this is you in the first place...)
<3
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| .:FALLEN:. |
[20 Sep 2002|12:28am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 crazy |
] |
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music |
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nadablablabla |
] |
There are moments which mark your life...
Moments when you realize nothing will ever be the same.
And time is divided into two parts...
Before this...
And, after this.
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| it's the top 10 list of things... |
[19 Sep 2002|12:54am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 peaceful |
] |
| [ |
music |
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teeNessNmahhead... weatherchannelonthetelly... |
] |
1. my grrrLfriend fucken kicks my ass she is so beyond wonderful! plane tickets, a *hella groovy* journal, pictures, randomness... i love her soooo much! AND she's fucken hott!! <3
2. finally sat down and did some financial maneuvering... and i think i'll be able to make the minimum payments for this month! weeeeeeee! AND get myself on track by next month...
3. my car is running good which makes me happy since i am selling it soon... i dunno if i'm going to get for it what i want... but i need anything i can get, right now!
4. i feel productive and i have another day full of shit to do tomorrow... including (not not limited to): clean maddy's cage, pay more bills, go to work (on my day off) to prepare for health inspection, take sour to her appt, be happy, vacuum, and talk to mah baby!! weeeeeeeee!!
5. my head itches and i really need to do something about it... like get my hairs done for real so that i can wash it for real again! :oD
6. i have only 3 weeks and 2 more days until i am in california, all cuddly and cutie and battling for the world's cutest couple!!
7. in california they don't hafta watch the weather channel during hurricane season all attentive like (as far as i know, right?) as we are right now... one BIG FUCKEN STORM out there, just a headin right for us!!
8. i love the couch that i sleep on it's soooo comfy! and the blanket i sleep wif... and stitch! and my dreams...
9. tonite i drank an italian soda that was supposed to resemble cotton candy, and although it really didn't so much, it was still yummy nonetheless!
10. i'm going to call mah baby now and curl up on the comfy couch and continue to count the days... all be well...
<3
|
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| ...my outlet... |
[08 Sep 2002|04:58pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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hopeful |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
bucsgame inthabackground |
] |
i am a wreck... without reason...
i miss <3you<3 a lot... i need to be there with you, hung over and smiling about it, reminiscing about the night we had...
i need to bleed... then i'll have an explanation...
i woke up late for work... and then left really early...
i need hollie hugs, for she gives them best...
i need to thank louis for being wonderful...
i need to talk to stuey, and it needs to happen soon, i do believe...
i need to smoke a cigarette, so this is where i depart...
<3
(please smile for me, kids...)
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